Freida explains why she is not maternal

I am sick of hearing I have lost my maternal instinct, that is nonsense.  I am ten years old and not ready to raise anyone’s baby.  I have loved and taken care of my fair share of dogs and cats along the way.  Mr. Garcia, that  cat I practically raised on my own.  He ran away to the old lady down the street.  Then there was Doobie, Tommy kind of ruined that for me.  I used to wash and carry that cat around like I gave birth to him.
Now I will go through the dogs.  We get to Knoxville and mom comes home with Henry and I am like okay I can deal with this.  He was cute and well behaved.  I raised a good one with him.
Next you have George, he doesn’t need any help and after him is Freddie Mercury.  Well here comes Vinnie and Danny  they are such Momma’s Boys it’s not even funny.  I don’t have to do anything there mom has it taken care of.
Okay by the time Barney arrives I am like what a cluster &*%.    You have George and Freddie Mercury thinking they are parents.  Needless to say look at Barney.  He might be a big old boy but he’s kind of a sissy.  Not that there is anything wrong with that. I am going to leave Bogey and Putter out of this because they have not really had much time with us.  But, what I am going to say will be scary for most. Johnny doesn’t stand a chance to be normal.  If he takes away the following from each dog.

Vinnie=Vocal
Danny=Trust issues
Henry= Jumping
George=Pervert
Freddie=Slob
Wally= Street fighting attitude
Barney= Aggressive fence behavior

So, I guess what I am trying to say if Johnny takes the above habits.  Let’s face it we are screwed!
Maybe, I should of come out of retirement and raise the little guy.
-Freeway Freida