President Vinnie trying to explain why he dug up plants?
Once again it appears I will be posting. Due to the fact that I live with a bunch of lazy, no good schmucks. I asked Henry today if he wanted to make the posting. He just lifted his lip and went back to nap land. Lazy!
This weeks topic is: What kind of plant would the VonHolediggers be?
Freeway Freida: Jasmine, she smells like a street whore, before she even gets close to you! Wally: Cannabis, I am sorry if I offend some. But, my heavens he is always stoned! Henry: Japanese Maple. The only reason is he dug up a newly planted, expensive tree when he was a puppy and ran through the yard. Giving daddy fits of rage! George: Weeping Willow. He is graceful and willow like. He’s just not normal! Freddie Mercury: He’s a big old Globe Arborvitae. Nice and round! Vinnie: Blue Spruce, because it’s one of moms favorites. Plus, I am strong like a spruce! Danny: Morning Glory, he loves the morning. He is such a sweet little guy! Barney: Hicks Yew. The name says it all. He would Tweet his name as Hix U, what a redneck! Bogey: He is a solid Oak tree. Sturdy and Strong. Very sophisticated! Putter: Cleome, the annual that stinks to high heaven, that’s him. Smelly! Johnny: Dandelion. Because he is an annoying weed. Mommy reminds me a weed is just a plant out of place. Well this guy is out of place!
I think we make a beautiful garden when we are all together. Even though George is odd and I do love my little Johnny. I just wish he would stay out of my pool!
-President Vinnie Laine
The following is the best song ever. Sugar Magnolia, enjoy!
The next topic in the series of many to come, is what would the VonHolediggers dress like if they wore human clothes? Of, course being the President of the dog world. You will always see me in a tie. I can’t help it. It’s formal.
So here we go.
Freeway Freida: Daisy Dukes and some kind of tight slutty tank top, that she is too old to wear. Probably from biker week at Sturgis! Wally: Frenchy’s t-shirt and swim trunks. Henry: Ralph Lauren Polo and madras shorts. George: This is hard, he is a cross dresser! Freddie Mercury: Tight NASCAR t-shirt and Denim shorts, with his gut hanging out!
Danny: Hand-me downs from Vinnie and Henry! Barney: Security Uniform he ordered off of EBay, because he’s not the real thing. Bogey: Suit and Bow tie. Putter: He’s a nudist! Johnny: Justin Bieber Concert t-shirt and skinny jeans.
Once, again it’s obvious I am dealing with a bunch of misfits!
So, I have taken bit of a break from posting. I just was not in the right frame of mind. The parents have decided to take on a new, healthier lifestyle and decided they were watching too much television. So what did they do but get rid of Comcast. Yes, I was in pure shock. What was life going to be with out my on demand. I love reality television and watched it all. You could only imagine my disappointment. I thought it would only last a month, but we are going on four months! The plus side is the parents are getting healthier and we have many nights of Scrabble, pool parties, gardening, talking, and walking. So, I guess it has been a plus. Now, I am going to share the next crazy part of this process. Mom and Dad were talking one night while playing Scrabble and started saying if our children could drive, what kind of car would they drive? This is going to be a series of what we would dress like, drink, where we would live, etc. They say we all have unique, human like personalities. So stay tuned.
Tonight’s topic is what kind of car we would drive, so here it goes:
Freeway Freida- Ford Pick-up Wally- Jeep Wrangler Henry- Mazda Miata Convertible George- Mini-Van, so he could pick-up the young puppies. PERVERT! Freddie Mercury- El Camino Vinnie- Old Jeep Wagoneer, it’s mommy’s favorite with the wood sides! Danny- Audi TT Barney- Suburban with the silver bull balls hanging off the back and chrome girl mud flaps, REDNECK! Bogey- Cadillac Coupe De Ville Putter- Ford Fiesta Johnny- Pacer Station Wagon with flames. Yes, I am the first to admit our parents are eccentric but it’s always fun in the VonHoledigger house!
-President Vinnie Laine
Now, I would like to add one of the VonHoledigger's favorite songs they like to play when they are cruising!
What is the meaning of life, it’s a philosophical question concerning the significance of life or existence in general.
I have been pondering this question for about a week now and I think I understand what it means…
I take the meaning of life as something precious. Someone who goes out and makes the World a better place. As Ralph Waldo Emerson is famous for saying:
To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded.
My mommy was telling me she used this quote when her mom died of Ovarian Cancer. She said it was very true to how she felt and today she says she see’s it. My Grandmother was super smart according to mom, she was a children’s librarian. She radiated intelligence. She thought that kids could become whatever they wanted and teach the World. Mommy says when people pass-on that Heaven is a glorious location where there is an absence of pain, disease, sex, depression, etc. and where people live in new, spiritual bodies, in the presence of Jesus Christ. I think I like the sounds of this. The parents will share the bible with us:
Ephesians 2:8-10
8. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9. Not of works, lest any man should boast. 10. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
I believe some people will come closer to obeying God than others, but no one ever hits the bull’s eye of perfection. I also, understand some people will have something to say about mom typing this for us because dogs don’t have value in their minds. However, if it helps a dog lover heal, I tell the parents to print it!
Thank you Jason! What is he talking about I kept thinking. I have heard this for the past week. Finally, mommy says what are you talking about?
Daddy says I am thanking Jason for my Birkenstock shoes being chewed, not one but both. I thanked Jason for my floor being ruined, I really feel thankful for the White Pines I just planted being taken up. But, mostly I am thanking Jason for the blessing he gave me named Johnny! That mutt has added constant chaos to our lives, but I must admit I like the little guy!
-Barney
P.S. I think part of Johnny's problem is mommy sings to him a song that makes his head big. This is part of the lyrics I have to hear:
His mother told him someday he would be a manAnd he would be the leader of a big old bandMany people coming from miles aroundTo hear him play his music when the sun go downMaybe someday your name would be in lightsSaying Johnny B. Goode tonight
Imagine the pure shock I had today when I woke up to find that the water was emptied out of my pool! I don’t care if it’s snowing, I need to work on my fitness. This is nonsense. Daddy emptied the water out yesterday and flipped my pool. I showed him. I stood there and protested and tried to find that useless duck in the bottom of the pool with his goggles.
I also think it stinks that we are home schooled and we did not get a day off from school. Daddy said class was in session like normal. I am thinking I want to go to the Public schools and ride the bus. I could try to be social with others.
We had an extended recess where we tore it up. Danny walked around with his dirty pillowcase, he likes to help with laundry. Barney and Johnny wrestled, if you noticed in the picture Barney had Johnny by his side. Henry is such a suck-up he is eager to get back to class, he likes learning. Wally, George, and Freeway Freida have graduated. Freddie Mercury is a delinquent who skips. Bogey and Putter don’t have to go because they are also finished with their education. I think they went to some private school in Michigan.
I believe all of my anger stems from the simple fact that I couldn’t go swimming today!
-Vinnie
*Freddie Mercury, Bogey & Putter are not in any of the pictures because they are lazy and would not go out in the snow.
